was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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