What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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