Everything about him screamed your future.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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