You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
