How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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