so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
