I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
