Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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