The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's shark week go big or go home
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
