I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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