I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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