Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
