i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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