yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
