I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
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