no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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