If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
