turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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