so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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