Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
