did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
