You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
