we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
