dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
