I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
