You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
