my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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