the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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