I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
