I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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