The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
farters have to be the big spoon...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
