I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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