did you get engaged???
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
