Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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