i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
