You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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