I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
