She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
