Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Alive.
So much puke
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We are all done wearing pants today
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
