those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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