dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
