playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
