and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
