chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
