just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
