my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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