I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
