exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
