So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
