y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
