I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize