Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
