Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
