where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
