I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Randomize
