We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She told me I should be a condom model.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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