He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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