Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
