you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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