My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
