peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
