Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
