the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
